Success means never having to say you're sorry

Picture by Live Life Happy via Flickr

It’s a common axiom that very successful people are driven and ruthless, trampling over people on

Now, I’m not advocating this approach to the workplace, but not embracing the asshole lifestyle doesn’t mean you can’t learn something from these people; in essence, what allows these people to disregard others and strive to become the best is confidence, focus and a refusal to apologise for their actions.

their way to the top without a thought for the cost of their actions to the people they leave behind. Moreover, we tend to think that it is because of this willingness not to count the human cost of their decisions that they become so very successful.

Don’t apologise is one of the most important pieces of advice I’ve ever received: I don’t mean you shouldn’t say sorry if you’re in the wrong but keep it short and simple – don’t try to explain or excuse your actions – this is where you come across as weak and unconfident. Simply acknowledge your fault, express remorse and leave it at that. If you don’t dwell on your mistakes, others won’t either. Late with a project or forgotten to reply to an e-mail? A short apology followed by the delivery of the desired items is far more effective than long-winded justifications.

To put this advice in context, imagine you’re applying for a job, you fit most of the criteria but you don’t have experience in one particular area – it’s still worth applying but you’re not sure how to deal with that particular part of the specification. In this situation it’s tempting to write a sentence  like this: “although I do not have experience with x, I do have an understanding of y because of my work with z.” This way you feel like you’ve shown awareness of the specification but justified your application in its absence. HOWEVER, what you’ve actually done is made sure that their attention is drawn to what you don’t have that they want, rather than what you do. If you don’t mention the area in which you are lacking, but focus on presenting your other skills strongly, you present a much more confident appearance and chances are they won’t even notice – especially if it’s not a particularly crucial part of the person specification.

You don’t have to be rude to be successful: you just have to be confident, focus on the positives and keep your apologies short and to the point.

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