How to have a healthy relationship with your job applications

You know those people that get carried away by relationships? They go on a few dates with somebody and suddenly they’re building castles in the sky – planning their wedding, doodling names on their notebook and mentally planning out their life for the next thirty or forty years. Next thing you know they’re sobbing on your shoulder because the other person got freaked out by the intensity and broke it off.

Photo by Mendhak via flickr

Well, it turns out that when it comes to jobs that’s exactly the kind of person I am: as soon as I know I’ve got an interview (arguably the first date of the job hunting process) I get carried away imagining my life if I got the job; I look at possible places to live, think about how I’d get to work and work out where I’d meet up with my friends. I even plan holidays I could take on the salary available. Just like the over-keen person in a relationship I go too far, too fast when there’s no guarantee that the outcome of the situation will be the one I want. As a result, I leave myself completely emotionally vulnerable for the (seemingly) inevitable rejection that ensues.

It’s an easy trap to fall into, particularly if your job hunt is just beginning or not going well: in the former situation every application seems like a dazzling pathway to a better future and you get carried away by the fantasy and in the latter each opportunity provides a glimmer of hope that this time the search might be over and you’ll finally get your life sorted. Either way, you get attached to the vision of the future rather than the job itself, meaning that when you’re unsuccessful you don’t just lose the job, you lose all the plans and dreams that go along with it.

While this may not seem like the worst thing in the world, I’ve learned the hard way that if you keep repeating this pattern with each application you get extremely disheartened about the job hunt and depressed about your future opportunities.

Instead of focusing completely on one role at a time therefore, make sure you have a number of applications on the go at any one time – put the same amount of effort in but don’t dwell on the possibilities inherent in each position. The more positions you apply for, the more possible futures there are, making it less likely you’ll get overly invested in any of them. In addition to this, when you come back from an interview get straight on with the next application – it can be tempting to give yourself a break but resist: taking a break often means you are subconsciously relying on getting the job whereas continuing the process prevents you becoming too emotionally involved with the future that success could provide.

Are you a needy job hunter? Do you get too attached to the possibilities each job provides? Let me know in the comments. For more job hunting information click here.

Feeling the fear and doing it anyway

Picture by Katiew via Flickr

Everybody has something they hate doing – some part of their job, however important or trivial, that they really, really don’t want to do ever if they can possibly avoid it. For me, it’s making phone calls but other people hate giving presentations, meeting one-on-one with their boss, creating resources, e-mailing people, dealing with IT or any of 101 things that other people think is no big deal but that you lie awake at night fretting about. The hardest thing to do –especially at three a.m. Monday morning - is to admit to yourself that they’re right: it really is no big deal.

There often isn’t really a reason that you’ve grown to regard the task in question with a combination of fear and loathing – sometimes you’ve just had a really bad experience, sometimes you’ve had no experience with it prior to your current position and sometimes you’re just behaving irrationally. The important thing is that you need to get over it because letting it get the better of you and adversely affect your job performance is not something you want to happen.

Of course, I’m not going to bring up a problem like this without providing some solutions, so here are my top three strategies for curing yourself of work phobias.

Throw yourself in at the deep end

Rather like jumping into cold water rather than easing in, or ripping of a band aid, for some people the best solution to not wanting to do something is to just do it: do it now and do it as often as possible. If you’ve been putting off making a lot of calls, schedule a day when that’s all you do; if you hate presentations volunteer to give all the presentations on behalf of your team for the next couple of months, and so on. The idea is that once you do something, you lose the fear of the unknown that was previously holding you back and repeated exposure will reduce the anxiety you feel about the activity. This worked for me when I had to call a list of about 100 people. I had been putting it off for as long as possible but then one day I had to just give in, sit down and start making calls. After three days of continuous phoning I still didn’t like doing it, but I was able to put it on my to-do list without dreading the experience.

Dip your toe in the shallow end

For those of you that are less crazy about throwing it all at the wall, an alternative is to start small: if you hate presentations try doing some for people you work closely with and who make you feel comfortable, then gradually work your way up to the really scary stuff. By making your first experience of whatever it is you don’t want to do as pleasant and non-stressful as possible, you decrease your apprehension of repeating it and thus gain confidence gradually. This might be less feasible if you’ve really left it all to the last minute however – sometimes option one is more of a necessity than a choice.

Going to swimming lessons (I’m stretching the metaphor to the breaking point here)

The third way to get over your aversion to doing something is to put a lot of preparation into it: if it’s a presentation make sure its planned and scripted and practice it as much as possible; if you’ve got a lot of calls to make write a script so you don’t forget what to say and again, practice on friends and co-workers. Preparation can reduce your disinclination to do a task because it increases your feeling of control over the situation. If you’re as prepared as you can possibly be, it takes a lot of the uncertainty out of the equation and can make you feel calmer about the situation. The more confidence you gain, the less preparation you’ll find it necessary to do, but the first few times it can be quite time consuming, so this is possibly not the best method if you’re extremely busy.

So there you have it: three ways to beat your personal work demon. What do you hate to do at work? Let me know below! For more work advice check out my posts on regaining control and procrastination.

The Truth about TEFL Part 3: Selling yourself via Skype

Picture by Jakob Montrasio via Flickr

TEFL job interviews are all about one thing: Skype. Occasionally employers may be in the UK during their recruiting period but for the most part your opportunity to impress them with your

There are a few things it’s important to remember however, if you want to become a Skype interview pro.

personality and suitability for the job will be a virtual one. Many people dread Skype interviews, unsure of how they should behave comparably to face-to-face interviews, but once you’ve gotten a few under your belt they’re an easy and effective way to connect with potential employers with little cost to either party.

1.       It’s still an interview so don’t get lazy. You still need to dress like you would for an interview and take care with your appearance – no top half only, no ‘smart casual’ wear. This is your only chance to make an impression and you don’t want to blow the deal before you even open your mouth.

2.       Do your preparation. When an interview is going to take place in your house, it often feels like the urgency is removed. Do not trust this feeling – you need to isolate a block of time before the interview to read up on the role and refresh yourself on what you wrote in your application. Remember that you won’t have the travel time and the pre-interview coffee shop time that you would with a traditional interview. It’s possible to have notes by your laptop for a Skype interview but you don’t want to be obviously fact checking every few minutes.

3.       Think about your body language. Even over a video link the way you present yourself can say a lot about you to an interviewer so it’s as important to consider your body language in a Skype interview as it is for a face to face meeting. Make sure you centre yourself on the screen and sit a sensible distance from the camera – you don’t want to be overly close but you need to be in range of the microphone. Most importantly make sure you look directly at the camera rather than the picture of the interviewer or of yourself, to maintain good eye contact.

4.       Be aware of the pitfalls of the internet. A lot of places that hire TEFL teachers aren’t renowned for their strong internet connections or good wifi coverage so it is quite likely that there will be a problem with the connection at some point in the interview. Obviously if you have prepared your setup properly this won’t be your problem but there are a couple of things you can do to minimise the damage; firstly, make sure you speak slowly and clearly to ensure you remain audible even if the connection becomes faulty and secondly try and minimise the amount of moving you do – the less work the system has to do to maintain a clear picture the better.

5.       Act natural. Lastly, behave as you normally would in an interview. Try to resist the urge to reference or joke about the nature of the process – it might be novel to you but they do it everyday. Trying to keep yourself in a normal interview mindset will also hopefully stop you being too nervous about the different format and should help you to come across well to the interviewer.

Had a good or bad interview experience on Skype? Let me know below. If you missed the first two parts of my series on TEFL you can find them here.