We're all going on a summer holiday...

... so updates are going to be what you might call sporadic for a while. With any luck I will have internet access in Turkey and Kate will get round to posting some fun stories from her archaeological dig but don't expect anything concret until mid-august earliest. We intend to take full advantage of our proper holiday and I urge you all to do the same :) Feel free to let us know what you're getting up to in the comments below.

Bon Voyage!

The Life List

By jordan clarke via Flickr

As you may have realised from my last post I have been feeling the pressure recently- the pressure to complete my thesis on time, the pressure to find a job, the pressure to stay sane…

In one of my many procrastinatory ambles through the internet, I came across this article written by the lovely and talented Ali Hale (of Aliventures and many many other worthy endeavours) extolling the virtues of making lists, particularly on the small scale, to keep on top of day to day commitments and goals.

This got me thinking: I love lists- they bring order to my otherwise chaotic life-, the remind me of my responsibilities and they give me a sense of achievement when I accomplish an item and can triumphantly tick it off. Everybody is familiar with the concept of the bucket list- things you want to have done before you kick the bucket i.e. die, but what I really need at the moment is a life list- a series of goals to achieve that will indicate that I have a life- a proper one that is, full of independence, income and (mostly) responsible expenditure.

The items on that list don’t have to be big or small, achievable or lofty, they just have to be anything you think will put you one step closer to the life you want.

Becca’s Eight Step Path to a Proper Life

#1 Finish my thesis- Ok, so this is kind of an obvious one bit finishing my thesis marks the end of my university career and the start of my time to GET a life

#2 Get a job- I need to be earning, not necessarily doing what I want to do forever, but I need more credit than debit in my bank account. Plus it will give me a chance to experience a completely different world for a while.

#3 Pass my driving test- I am currently one fail down, five to go (if I aim to break the group record) but hopefully will pass soon. Being able to drive is one of the hallmarks of adulthood and it makes getting to places so much more convenient

#4 Decide whether I want to do a PhD/ get a PhD place (if the answer is yes)  Recently, my thesis write up has left me disillusioned with my work and my own abilities and I’m not sure if I can take another five years of education and constant pressure. Figuring this out however, will bring me one step closer to a life of my own.

#5 Get a double bed- whether at home or in a place of my own, a double bed is the grown-up way to sleep. I don’t even want to share it with anyone, I just like to sprawl without bruising my extremities.

#6 Go to my first wedding- getting married is pretty much the most grown up thing you can do as far as I can see, and when you friends start getting married you have to grown up a bit too (at least for the ceremony, you can shed your assumed maturity at the reception).

#7 Become a Godmother- Ok, so this one is probably a long way off since I not only have to wait for one of my close friends or relatives to have a baby, I also have to convince them I would be the best spiritual (or actual in the case of tragedy) guardian. Being responsible for another human being is a major adult responsibility.

#8 Take my parents out for dinner to celebrate me moving out- this encompasses the official acknowledgement of the end of childhood and dependency and the fact that I now have an independent source of income sufficient to cover indulgences. This may never happen.

If you know me and would like to help me out with any of the above get in touch :) Everybody else please share your life list goals in the comments below!

How to Cope With Rejection

Picture by Sean MacEntee via Flickr

It’s been a difficult couple of weeks- I’ve been balancing finishing my thesis with applying for jobs and going for interviews- all of which have been unsuccessful.

Rejection is not a nice feeling as I’m sure you all know; it makes you feel worthless, it saps your motivation and it makes the future seem hopeless.

However, life goes on past these rejections and if you’re going to make the most of it and not waste your opportunities, then being able to cope with rejection is a skill you are going to have to develop. If you don’t, it will begin to prey on your mind, affecting your attitude at other interviews which will decrease your chances of doing well and create a downwards spiral of rejections that will eventually lead to you losing all hope and doing something stupid like jumping off a bridge/ doing amateur porn/ working at McDonalds/ marrying for money- depending on your inclinations.

I kid (mostly) but the fact remains that dwelling on rejection, much like dwelling on past mistakes, will only build a self-replicating pattern and get you nowhere.

Success means looking forward not backwards: below are the most important things I have learnt about dealing with rejection.

1. Don’t lie to yourself but don’t take things too personally

By Stefano Principato via Flickr

Obviously it isn’t a good idea to make excuses for next getting a job- it makes you feel like you’re lying to yourself and it stops you learning valuable lessons from the mistakes you’re afraid to admit to.

However, quite often rejection is simply a numbers game- sometimes you don’t make the cut for a completely arbitrary reason, and beating yourself up over it or overanalysing your performance won’t make any difference.

For example, I recently went for a job that required references to be submitted in advance; one of my referees was having a really busy week and failed to meet the deadline. What was more likely- that my qualifications and background weren’t good enough or that I was screened out simply for not meeting their requirements?

Similarly, sometimes the employers will have a certain type of person in mind for the job- rightly or wrongly- and if you aren’t what they want then it doesn’t matter how talented, dedicated or fabulous you are, you probably won’t get the job.

So next time you get a rejection be honest with yourself- did you do things wrong? If so, you can work to correct them. If it seems likely that you were just a victim of circumstance though, then just shrug it off- fate is a fickle mistress and the next job could be the opportunity you’ve been waiting for.

2. Remember success can be measured in many ways

By Hijukal via Flickr

This is a difficult lesson to learn but an important one; our society increasingly values specific academic qualifications and financial security as the most important measures of success. Are they important? Of course! But there are many, many ways to measure success in life that have nothing to do with what university you attended or how much money you’ve made.

Some people consider success to be raising a large, happy family and supporting them to follow their dreams, and some people measure success through the strength and number of their personal relationships:

Remember that quote from the Christmas movie ‘It’s A Wonderful Life’? “Remember, no man is a failure who has friends”. Corny, but true.

Still others consider success to be leaving a legacy of work- art, literature, a disease cure, architecture, research… what’s important is making their mark.

Some people measure their success through the number of lives they touch and change for the better.

The important thing to remember is that they can all be right: success is entirely subjective. If you feel like a failure, make sure you are measuring yourself by your criteria- not your parents’, your friends’ or society’s.

Set your own criteria but be prepared for it to change as you grow: don’t judge thirty year old you harshly by the criteria you set out when you were just graduating, realise that as you adapt to life, so too must your criteria.

By Subharnab via Flickr

3. Statistics are your friend and the world is your oyster

Yes the current job climate sucks and yes we all want a job; one of the advantages of the recession job hunt though is that the stigma attached to not being able to find a job is greatly reduced. People don’t assume that rejections are due to your inadequacies, they simply see you as a victim of the economy or the government: you don’t have a job because there are no jobs to get.

So statistics are your friend- they tell you that you’re not alone: 

2.45 million people are currently unemployed in the UK and 144.000 people were made redundant in the period from March to May alone this year. 

This means that the market has been flooded by experienced individuals looking for work, effectively blocking the attempts of graduates trying to get into more specialised skill based industries such as media and heritage.

Its also important to remember that every time you DON’T get a job a world of infinite opportunities still awaits you- you could do anything. Further, the market being what it is now is as good a time as any to follow your dreams. Competition is tough everywhere so you might as well do battle on a field of your choice.

The important thing is to take advantage of the opportunities that are open to you and to recognise that 2011 is a tough year to be applying for jobs. The odds are against you and the market is against you and more often than not, rejections will reflect the market pressures in play than the person you show yourself to be on your CV.

Top Tools For Procrastination

Via Flickr by gingerpig2000

This week's post is late, for which I proffer you all a thousand apologies. Thesis panic has hit full force and with it my workload seems to have doubled. Combine this with the pressure of job applications and interviews and you have my current disorganised, frantic state.
However out of this morass of confusion and sleep deprivation was born this week's topic- the best ways to procrastinate from work.
Escapism is seductive and whilst procrastination is clearly bad in great quantities, everybody needs a break now and then.
The ideal procrastination tool has to be short or in small units so you are not distracted for too long and ideally it should make you feel like you are still accomplishing something to ward off the guilt of not working.

There are a variety of media represented here so there should be something for everybody currently engaged in a thankless task they'd rather not be doing.

1.) Webcomics
I am a huge aficionado of webcomics and have been for some time. There are years of archives to get caught up on but once you're on track they provide a short daily respite as you follow the progressing story.
Here are three of my favourites that I strongly reccommend to you all:

http://www.sheldoncomics.com/ Sheldon is a ten year old genius who lives with hist grandfather, his pug Oso, Arthur the talking duck he created, and Arthur's adopted son Flaco the lizard. Whats not to like? Its funny, its heartwarming (if a little Nerdcore upon occasion) and its the perfect antidote to life's worries.

http://www.girlswithslingshots.com/ This is definitely a comic for the job-seekers and twenty-somethings. Hazel, Jamie and friends present the life worries and problems we all share against a charmingly drawn backdrop of Canada and coffee shops. Oh and there's a talking Scottish cactus called McPedro.

www.pvponline.com A classic, almost one might say a quintessential, webcomic; PVP (Player vs Player) is one of the oldest and most successful webcomics around. Initially a gaming comic PVP blossomed into a clever, tongue in cheek commentary on human relationships and workplace interactions.

2.) The Complete Guide to Everything (Podcast) www.tcgte.com
The Complete Guide To Everything is a weekly podcast produced by New Yorkers Tom Reynolds and Tim Daniels with the initial, ambitious aim to produce an audio rival to wikipedia by picking a topic each week and providing a 'complete guide' to it.
Since its first few episodes TCGTE has grown in scope, audience and audio fidelity to become a regular in the itunes top downloaded podcasts both in the US and in the UK, prompting the first of what we hope will be many live shows held in London and New York this year.
Not only are they hilarious- do not make the mistake of listening to them in the library- they are also surprisingly informative upon occasion: their beatles episode provided me with all my knowledge on the subject and their episode about North Korea was similarly interesting.
They are even more entertaining however when they don't know what they're talking about- below is one of my favourite quotes from the Superbowl episode:

Tim: Since this is our official superbowl episode...I will give you $100 Tom, right now, if you can name for me the two teams playing in the superbowl next week

3.) Sporle www.sporcle.com
You may or may not be aware of this valuable time wasting resource. If you are, you'll understand what I mean, if you're not then allow me to explain.
Sporcle is a website that collates and produces timed quizzes on any topic under the sun- name the original 150 pokemon, name all the countries in the world, name all the elements in the periodic table...
Its fun- whether playing on your own or in a group with a designated 'typist'- and it is extremely challenging on occasion (how many African countries can YOU name?). Most importantly it makes you feel like you're doing something useful- your brain is still engaged. Definitely a site to bookmark.

4.) Twitter www.twitter.com
I am a (relatively) new convert to twitter and I have to say it is ideal for time wasting. Endless updates for you to read and respond to, posting your own messages, following trending topics...
Again this is something that can convince you (assuming you follow the right people) that you're doing something useful- I get most of my news about the outside world from twitter these days.
If you're already on twitter these are three new people for you to follow and if you're a newbie they're a great place to start.

@NickMB- Although occasionally guilty of quantity over quality, Nick's tweets are endlessly diverting and extremely numerous covering a good range of issues humerous, cultural and topical. One to follow if only to find out what the hashtag #tfts stands for...


@universityboy- writer of the University blog http://theuniversityblog.co.uk/ his tweets are extremely relevant and often link to interesting articles about the future of higher education in Britain. Interesting and topical, if occasionally disquieting, he is an excellent person to follow for news and politics updates relevant to our generation.

@LucyMangan the guardian columnist par excellance she should be followed simply because she's amazing and always links to excellent things (including her own work). Also check her archives out at the guardian website for a procrastination bonus!

There you have it folks- my favourite ways to break from work (when I'm not watching South Park that is). Feel free to share your own favourites in the comments below.

Now if you'll excuse me I have some work to do...

The Halo Effect

By Zoe Favole via Flickr

In my post on interview techniques I referred to the Halo Effect at one point. This is a psychological phenomena I actually read up on for a previous blog but given its relevance to this one as well I thought I would dust it off and trot it out again- Hope you enjoy!

The recession may officially be over, but it’s never been harder to get a job especially as a graduate. So what should you be relying on to get you chosen over the hundreds of other eager applicants? Qualifications, work experience, extra skills… or a nice smile?

Unfair though it may seem to those of us not so fortunate as to be absolutely gorgeous, studies have shown that good looking people tend to be more highly rated in interview than their less attractive peers. This isn’t a case of sexism in the workplace- the phenomenon occurs for both men and women- nor does it appear to be due to the overt shallowness of the interviewer as the prejudice is seemingly subconscious.

According to psychologists this bias is due to the ‘Halo Effect,’ a psychological kink by which we attribute positive characteristics to people we like and negative ones to people we like less. When the person or people are strangers to us, the tendency is to assume good looking people are nice and less attractive people are not. A reliance on appearance for judging character is inherent in our culture- phrases such as ‘love is blind’ and ‘a face only a mother could love’ reveal how we connect positive emotions to an attractive physical appearance.

A study conducted in the 70’s by Landy and Sigall shows the Halo effect in action: when male students were asked to evaluate the quality of an essay, the marks they gave when they thought the writer was an attractive woman were substantially higher than when the perceived writer was unattractive.

Of course to a certain extent notions of attractiveness are subjective to personal preference and social conditioning; however the experimental proof of the halo effect seems to indicate that there is some base level of attractiveness- traits such as good hygiene and fitness or personal grooming for instance, will influence people’s judgement regardless of what attracts them personally.

This effect does not just condition what people think of your personality but also your abilities and skills- people will assume that attractive people (within reason- obviously looking like Paris Hilton might be a hindrance) are more capable as well as generally nicer.

So what does this mean in the real world? Well realistically looks are unlikely to replace the right qualifications-you’ll need those to get into the interview room anyway. However once you’re at that stage- even if it seems chauvinistic or anti-feminist- it’s up to you to use every weapon in your arsenal. Sadly this is most likely especially the case for young women looking to get on the first rung of the corporate ladder, where the majority of interviewers are likely to be male and the climate is, if no longer hostile to women, certainly not over-friendly.

So dress well, use makeup, get your hair done- at the end of the day it could be the difference between going home with a new job or going back to fill in another round of applications.

Finding Your Silver Lining

 Hannah is a friend from university, one of the first to take the scary steps into the adult world. I asked her to write us a post about her experiences over the last year to show people how uncertainty and changing your mind can be extremely positive forces sometimes. She is an extremely talented writer so I hope you all enjoy this post!

So I’ve got a degree, quite a good one actually- I am a Cambridge Graduate. But I didn’t spend my summers selling my soul to Deloitte, or working for free at a top law firm, or anything particularly useful. I think of myself as a creative, socially aware sort of person and I certainly don’t want my person to be defined by my degree and the university I attended. So what do I do with that degree?

When I was in my final year of university I decided that I would put off all the life-changing career decisions and do a Masters in Material and Visual Culture at UCL. I got the place, and had the enthusiasm to give it a good shot. I found two good friends to live with and a cheap flat on a council estate in Clapham. I thought I was sorted.

Then I had the induction day for the course and had a realisation, as it turned out, the first of many. I didn’t want to do all that work, all that reading and pointless study and discussion. Not after three years already. So I gave that up after quite a few tears and a long discussion with my mum.

Next step... being bored and poor in London, which isn’t fun at all. I felt isolated, lost, a fish out of water. In London you have to fight to feel welcome, fight to turn the daily grind, the grime and the distance into a meaningful experience. And I didn’t have the inclination or the money to take arms.

I looked at the career options for those with a degree in Social Anthropology. PR and Marketing were quite near the top of that list so I thought I’d give that a go, I talked myself into it and really thought I’d be alright at it. I’d wear a pink pencil skirt and Topshop heels to work, buy a Starbuck skinny latte at lunch and join a yoga class. So I went to a recruitment firm that could find me an internship and ended up joining a small private tuition company as an intern. Supposedly I was their ‘marketing’ executive and they would be giving me a job in 3 months if I was any good. It turned out I was free labour; the latest of many interns. The company consisted of two people who shared a unit on with a chap starting his own company producing and selling organic ketchup. And they were running out of money.  

Then it was October. My Nan had a severe stroke. I didn’t want to be in London, I wanted to be at home with her. So I left within hours of it happening. This wasn’t a decision I had to think through; my Nan had lived with me and my parents at home for 7 years and she was more important to me that anything else in that moment. I visited her in hospital every day.

But this horrible shock made me question my career path. I talked to the nurses and got to know the people on the ward, and knew that I didn’t want to be stuck in an office or working with stuffed shirts. I needed to do something useful, to be part of a community that shared my principles. So while I was at home I volunteered at a primary school. Just to see if I liked it, which I did.  I went back up to London with my parents and moved out officially. I’m not usually the sort of person who makes off the cuff decisions, but at the time I just needed to get out.

On Boxing Day my Nan died in hospital. The teacher I was working with at school bought me some daffodils growing in a pot to cheer me up. Everyone was so supportive, and I felt I had found my place at last. I decided to stay. And then the school agreed to have me there to do the Graduate Training Programme to become a teacher. I’d just like to add that this is not the easy option. The school is in a tough area, the children are far from perfect, and some come to school at four years old not really knowing what a book is, or how to use a knife and fork. There’s no getting away with being a mediocre teacher, if you want to engage this children you have to be exciting, open minded and understanding. It’s a challenge!

I’m also lucky to have friends who did not go to university. They do not have degrees and yet they have a life that is based not on income or status but rather friends, family and enjoyment. When I came back from London my friends got me through a phase of confusion. I also have friends who were in the same boat as me which helped a lot. If you are stuck knowing what to do with your degree, I recommend talking to someone who doesn’t have one. These people taught me how to be grounded.

So what have I learnt? Life teaches you stuff. It’s not a matter of ‘finding your way’ or ‘choosing the right path’ or all those rubbish clichés. You’ll decide one thing, and life will change your mind. Something that’s outside your control can happen at any moment. My advice would be, if you don’t like what you’re doing, don’t feel stuck. Just give it up and trust that eventually you’ll do something you really do like. I don’t expect I’ll be a teacher for ever, but for now it suits me just fine, and hopefully I’ll be a good one.