Success means never having to say you're sorry

Picture by Live Life Happy via Flickr

It’s a common axiom that very successful people are driven and ruthless, trampling over people on

Now, I’m not advocating this approach to the workplace, but not embracing the asshole lifestyle doesn’t mean you can’t learn something from these people; in essence, what allows these people to disregard others and strive to become the best is confidence, focus and a refusal to apologise for their actions.

their way to the top without a thought for the cost of their actions to the people they leave behind. Moreover, we tend to think that it is because of this willingness not to count the human cost of their decisions that they become so very successful.

Don’t apologise is one of the most important pieces of advice I’ve ever received: I don’t mean you shouldn’t say sorry if you’re in the wrong but keep it short and simple – don’t try to explain or excuse your actions – this is where you come across as weak and unconfident. Simply acknowledge your fault, express remorse and leave it at that. If you don’t dwell on your mistakes, others won’t either. Late with a project or forgotten to reply to an e-mail? A short apology followed by the delivery of the desired items is far more effective than long-winded justifications.

To put this advice in context, imagine you’re applying for a job, you fit most of the criteria but you don’t have experience in one particular area – it’s still worth applying but you’re not sure how to deal with that particular part of the specification. In this situation it’s tempting to write a sentence  like this: “although I do not have experience with x, I do have an understanding of y because of my work with z.” This way you feel like you’ve shown awareness of the specification but justified your application in its absence. HOWEVER, what you’ve actually done is made sure that their attention is drawn to what you don’t have that they want, rather than what you do. If you don’t mention the area in which you are lacking, but focus on presenting your other skills strongly, you present a much more confident appearance and chances are they won’t even notice – especially if it’s not a particularly crucial part of the person specification.

You don’t have to be rude to be successful: you just have to be confident, focus on the positives and keep your apologies short and to the point.

Interested in improving your job applications or interview skills? Go to the Job Hunting page to find more articles and advice.

Get a hobby: what your interests say about you

There are many parts to a job application and they all have their challenges – how to fit your experience to the requirements, how to sell yourself effectively, how to highlight your skills and aptitudes. One of the areas that doesn’t often get a lot of attention from us as we sweat over jobs applications and endless CV revisions is the things that make us interesting people aside from our work experience and qualifications – unsurprisingly, in addition to wanting you to be fully qualified and possessed of a wide range of relevant experience, employers also want to make sure that they’re hiring interesting, engaging people with a wide range of interests and hobbies.

If you’re like me, you did quite well in the recreational section of your CV throughout school and university – joining sports teams and clubs to pad it out – but once you got into the world of work your interests… narrowed… somewhat. To be quite honest, most days I consider it a success if I manage a conversation with my parents and read part of a book when I come home from work, let alone taking up expensive and time consuming hobbies. Tempting though it is to sink into a routine of work, television and sleep with the occasional friendly outing, there will come a time when you realise it’s a bit of a stretch to talk about the football team you were on four years ago in a covering letter and will find yourself in need of something else to talk about.

Although it may seem like the least important part of your application, your hobbies and interests can say a lot about you as a person and can reinforce that you possess certain desired traits without you having to repeat yourself. So just what do your hobbies say about you?

Team sports: if you play a team sport or can get yourself involved in one, it’s a great thing to put on your CV. It shows that you can work well with others, that you are able to manage your time effectively enough to fit in practice around the rest of your life and it presents you as a healthy, active person who is happy to get involved.

Individual sports: are you a runner or a climber? Maybe you cycle or swim? If so, you’re showing that you’re a dedicated and self-motivated individual who can set themself a goal and work to achieve it. It shows that you can work unsupervised and that you aren’t afraid of a challenge.

Playing a musical instrument: If you play an instrument or sing – especially if it’s with a choir or an orchestra – you show that you have the capacity to learn and continually improve, the dedication to practice regularly and the ability to work in harmony with others and follow direction and you demonstrate that you have an interest in culture.

Physical activities: these include things such as yoga, pilates and dance. Physical activities show that you have a good work-life balance, that you are interested in new experiences and that you are able to commit your time and energy to a long term project.

Arts and crafts: these things might be less common or obviously connectable to your CV but there’s no shame in not being a sporty person. Hobbies like painting, knitting, photography or scrapbooking show that you are capable of taking on projects and seeing them to completion, of developing your skillset and applying it to new challenges and indicate a practical, organised nature.

Hobbies to be wary of: cooking and travel are two things that a lot of people will claim as a hobby; this is fine but you have to be prepared to back it up. Everybody makes dinner, so for cooking (or baking) to be a hobby you have to show that you work to develop your abilities, that you try new things regularly and that you belong to communities or attend show/exhibitions related to your interest. Similarly if travel is an interest you need to talk about places you’ve visited recently, languages you’ve learnt and show that you read around your subject. Handled well these hobbies can demonstrate project management skills, self-motivation, an awareness of the wider world and a willingness to try new things and new places.

Hobbies to avoid: reading, watching TV, listening to music, playing computer games. I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with these activities as pastimes, but they are unlikely to impress on a CV and will not set you apart from the crowd.

Not sure what is the right hobby for you? Take a look at my highly scientific diagram below to work out the best way to spend your free time.

Go North: leave London and live better

I'm not as southern as some people, coming as I do from good Yorkshire stock, but it is seldom these days that I have reason to venture past Oxford, let alone Birmingham. It was with some trepidation then last week that I boarded train to Leeds to visit a friend. Upon my arrival however I saw that all my fears were unjustified - Leeds is an amazing city with excellent transport links to surrounding towns set in picture postcard rurality.

Saltaire

I had been told that Leeds was a superior shopping destination and it more than lived up to its reputation: apart from John Lewis (which my friend assures me is arriving next year) it has all the major chains as well as some fun and quirky independents and boasts a truly superior waterstones as well as that increasingly chimeric creature: a well-stocked HMV. There is also some beautiful architecture, an excellent museum and a wide selection of bars and restaurants. All in all I had a delightful weekend (so delightful that it caused me to miss an update last week - sorry about that) and had my perceptions about Northern loving thoroughly challenged. Why though am I taking the time to tell you all about it?

Well, among the other manifest attractions of Leeds my friend happened to mention how much she paid for a two bedroom apartment with a balcony, covered parking and access to a tennis court. I could only stare dumbly at her as she rattled off the numerous benefits she got alongside her apartment, thinking that you wouldn't even get a room in a dodgy flat share for that in London. I had a similar shock when we walked past an estate agents and I saw how little it cost to buy an apartment in the city centre.

I suddenly realised how affordable grown up life could be if you moved out of London - renting would no longer be a pointless money sink but a reasonable expenditure and getting on the property ladder could be more than a hopeless dream. Additionally, in areas like Leeds you're not really sacrificing anything: it's about two hours by train or driving to reach London (it has taken me this long to travel across London some weekends) and there is more than enough to keep you busy and social. There's even an airport for quick Europe-based getaways.

The only downside is,of course, the comparative scarcity of jobs, making it a life choice that is not possible for everybody. However if you are in a profession - particularly one that pays well - you will be amazed at how much further your money can go outside of the M25. You can love the lifestyle you want and still be capable of paying off your student

loans and saving for the future.

So my advice this week? Go north - if you can. It will be well worth it. And now if you'll excuse me I'm off to do some location based job hunting....

Want more life advice? Check out my post on regaining control or adjusting after uni.