How to have a healthy relationship with your job applications

You know those people that get carried away by relationships? They go on a few dates with somebody and suddenly they’re building castles in the sky – planning their wedding, doodling names on their notebook and mentally planning out their life for the next thirty or forty years. Next thing you know they’re sobbing on your shoulder because the other person got freaked out by the intensity and broke it off.

Photo by Mendhak via flickr

Well, it turns out that when it comes to jobs that’s exactly the kind of person I am: as soon as I know I’ve got an interview (arguably the first date of the job hunting process) I get carried away imagining my life if I got the job; I look at possible places to live, think about how I’d get to work and work out where I’d meet up with my friends. I even plan holidays I could take on the salary available. Just like the over-keen person in a relationship I go too far, too fast when there’s no guarantee that the outcome of the situation will be the one I want. As a result, I leave myself completely emotionally vulnerable for the (seemingly) inevitable rejection that ensues.

It’s an easy trap to fall into, particularly if your job hunt is just beginning or not going well: in the former situation every application seems like a dazzling pathway to a better future and you get carried away by the fantasy and in the latter each opportunity provides a glimmer of hope that this time the search might be over and you’ll finally get your life sorted. Either way, you get attached to the vision of the future rather than the job itself, meaning that when you’re unsuccessful you don’t just lose the job, you lose all the plans and dreams that go along with it.

While this may not seem like the worst thing in the world, I’ve learned the hard way that if you keep repeating this pattern with each application you get extremely disheartened about the job hunt and depressed about your future opportunities.

Instead of focusing completely on one role at a time therefore, make sure you have a number of applications on the go at any one time – put the same amount of effort in but don’t dwell on the possibilities inherent in each position. The more positions you apply for, the more possible futures there are, making it less likely you’ll get overly invested in any of them. In addition to this, when you come back from an interview get straight on with the next application – it can be tempting to give yourself a break but resist: taking a break often means you are subconsciously relying on getting the job whereas continuing the process prevents you becoming too emotionally involved with the future that success could provide.

Are you a needy job hunter? Do you get too attached to the possibilities each job provides? Let me know in the comments. For more job hunting information click here.

Success means never having to say you're sorry

Picture by Live Life Happy via Flickr

It’s a common axiom that very successful people are driven and ruthless, trampling over people on

Now, I’m not advocating this approach to the workplace, but not embracing the asshole lifestyle doesn’t mean you can’t learn something from these people; in essence, what allows these people to disregard others and strive to become the best is confidence, focus and a refusal to apologise for their actions.

their way to the top without a thought for the cost of their actions to the people they leave behind. Moreover, we tend to think that it is because of this willingness not to count the human cost of their decisions that they become so very successful.

Don’t apologise is one of the most important pieces of advice I’ve ever received: I don’t mean you shouldn’t say sorry if you’re in the wrong but keep it short and simple – don’t try to explain or excuse your actions – this is where you come across as weak and unconfident. Simply acknowledge your fault, express remorse and leave it at that. If you don’t dwell on your mistakes, others won’t either. Late with a project or forgotten to reply to an e-mail? A short apology followed by the delivery of the desired items is far more effective than long-winded justifications.

To put this advice in context, imagine you’re applying for a job, you fit most of the criteria but you don’t have experience in one particular area – it’s still worth applying but you’re not sure how to deal with that particular part of the specification. In this situation it’s tempting to write a sentence  like this: “although I do not have experience with x, I do have an understanding of y because of my work with z.” This way you feel like you’ve shown awareness of the specification but justified your application in its absence. HOWEVER, what you’ve actually done is made sure that their attention is drawn to what you don’t have that they want, rather than what you do. If you don’t mention the area in which you are lacking, but focus on presenting your other skills strongly, you present a much more confident appearance and chances are they won’t even notice – especially if it’s not a particularly crucial part of the person specification.

You don’t have to be rude to be successful: you just have to be confident, focus on the positives and keep your apologies short and to the point.

Interested in improving your job applications or interview skills? Go to the Job Hunting page to find more articles and advice.

Get a hobby: what your interests say about you

There are many parts to a job application and they all have their challenges – how to fit your experience to the requirements, how to sell yourself effectively, how to highlight your skills and aptitudes. One of the areas that doesn’t often get a lot of attention from us as we sweat over jobs applications and endless CV revisions is the things that make us interesting people aside from our work experience and qualifications – unsurprisingly, in addition to wanting you to be fully qualified and possessed of a wide range of relevant experience, employers also want to make sure that they’re hiring interesting, engaging people with a wide range of interests and hobbies.

If you’re like me, you did quite well in the recreational section of your CV throughout school and university – joining sports teams and clubs to pad it out – but once you got into the world of work your interests… narrowed… somewhat. To be quite honest, most days I consider it a success if I manage a conversation with my parents and read part of a book when I come home from work, let alone taking up expensive and time consuming hobbies. Tempting though it is to sink into a routine of work, television and sleep with the occasional friendly outing, there will come a time when you realise it’s a bit of a stretch to talk about the football team you were on four years ago in a covering letter and will find yourself in need of something else to talk about.

Although it may seem like the least important part of your application, your hobbies and interests can say a lot about you as a person and can reinforce that you possess certain desired traits without you having to repeat yourself. So just what do your hobbies say about you?

Team sports: if you play a team sport or can get yourself involved in one, it’s a great thing to put on your CV. It shows that you can work well with others, that you are able to manage your time effectively enough to fit in practice around the rest of your life and it presents you as a healthy, active person who is happy to get involved.

Individual sports: are you a runner or a climber? Maybe you cycle or swim? If so, you’re showing that you’re a dedicated and self-motivated individual who can set themself a goal and work to achieve it. It shows that you can work unsupervised and that you aren’t afraid of a challenge.

Playing a musical instrument: If you play an instrument or sing – especially if it’s with a choir or an orchestra – you show that you have the capacity to learn and continually improve, the dedication to practice regularly and the ability to work in harmony with others and follow direction and you demonstrate that you have an interest in culture.

Physical activities: these include things such as yoga, pilates and dance. Physical activities show that you have a good work-life balance, that you are interested in new experiences and that you are able to commit your time and energy to a long term project.

Arts and crafts: these things might be less common or obviously connectable to your CV but there’s no shame in not being a sporty person. Hobbies like painting, knitting, photography or scrapbooking show that you are capable of taking on projects and seeing them to completion, of developing your skillset and applying it to new challenges and indicate a practical, organised nature.

Hobbies to be wary of: cooking and travel are two things that a lot of people will claim as a hobby; this is fine but you have to be prepared to back it up. Everybody makes dinner, so for cooking (or baking) to be a hobby you have to show that you work to develop your abilities, that you try new things regularly and that you belong to communities or attend show/exhibitions related to your interest. Similarly if travel is an interest you need to talk about places you’ve visited recently, languages you’ve learnt and show that you read around your subject. Handled well these hobbies can demonstrate project management skills, self-motivation, an awareness of the wider world and a willingness to try new things and new places.

Hobbies to avoid: reading, watching TV, listening to music, playing computer games. I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with these activities as pastimes, but they are unlikely to impress on a CV and will not set you apart from the crowd.

Not sure what is the right hobby for you? Take a look at my highly scientific diagram below to work out the best way to spend your free time.

Go North: leave London and live better

I'm not as southern as some people, coming as I do from good Yorkshire stock, but it is seldom these days that I have reason to venture past Oxford, let alone Birmingham. It was with some trepidation then last week that I boarded train to Leeds to visit a friend. Upon my arrival however I saw that all my fears were unjustified - Leeds is an amazing city with excellent transport links to surrounding towns set in picture postcard rurality.

Saltaire

I had been told that Leeds was a superior shopping destination and it more than lived up to its reputation: apart from John Lewis (which my friend assures me is arriving next year) it has all the major chains as well as some fun and quirky independents and boasts a truly superior waterstones as well as that increasingly chimeric creature: a well-stocked HMV. There is also some beautiful architecture, an excellent museum and a wide selection of bars and restaurants. All in all I had a delightful weekend (so delightful that it caused me to miss an update last week - sorry about that) and had my perceptions about Northern loving thoroughly challenged. Why though am I taking the time to tell you all about it?

Well, among the other manifest attractions of Leeds my friend happened to mention how much she paid for a two bedroom apartment with a balcony, covered parking and access to a tennis court. I could only stare dumbly at her as she rattled off the numerous benefits she got alongside her apartment, thinking that you wouldn't even get a room in a dodgy flat share for that in London. I had a similar shock when we walked past an estate agents and I saw how little it cost to buy an apartment in the city centre.

I suddenly realised how affordable grown up life could be if you moved out of London - renting would no longer be a pointless money sink but a reasonable expenditure and getting on the property ladder could be more than a hopeless dream. Additionally, in areas like Leeds you're not really sacrificing anything: it's about two hours by train or driving to reach London (it has taken me this long to travel across London some weekends) and there is more than enough to keep you busy and social. There's even an airport for quick Europe-based getaways.

The only downside is,of course, the comparative scarcity of jobs, making it a life choice that is not possible for everybody. However if you are in a profession - particularly one that pays well - you will be amazed at how much further your money can go outside of the M25. You can love the lifestyle you want and still be capable of paying off your student

loans and saving for the future.

So my advice this week? Go north - if you can. It will be well worth it. And now if you'll excuse me I'm off to do some location based job hunting....

Want more life advice? Check out my post on regaining control or adjusting after uni.

Homing Pigeon Syndrome

Photo by ZeroOne via Flickr

The A level results are in and the next batch of Britain’s bright eyed young hopefuls are off to university, leaving behind the nest, their parents and- in the case of my sister- me.

Around this time people start talking about 'empty nest' syndrome- parents having to deal with the absence of their offspring but increasingly I've been feeling the effects of a syndrome of my own that I have dubbed homing pigeon syndrome.

Increasingly as a result of the current economic climate students are graduating from university and heading straight back home. There is nothing wrong with this: many people have no other option (myself included) and for those who manage to obtain a decent starting salary it still makes sound fiscal policy to stay at home and save for a bit but it can leave you feeling disillusioned and stuck in a rut.

You feel that university was a bubble life that has now popped, leaving you right back where you started. This feeling is exacerbated if you have a sibling or cousin leaving for university this year, setting off to do all the fun things you've just left behind. For you life seems to be going nowhere- separated from your closest friends and no longer truly independent, it feels like you have to go back to being the person you were before you went away and grew up.

It's all too easy to get depressed about this situation but once you fall into the doldrums- as readers of the phantom toll-booth will know- it can be surprisingly hard to pull yourself out. Don't wallow in self pity- this will only make you feel worse, leading to a downward spiral into lethargy. Instead, why not take steps to combat this situation?

Get some Perpective
First get out of the house and, if possible, out of your neighbourhood completely. You need to gain some detachment before you can look at your situation with a clear head. If you can, visit or meet up with a friend in a similar situation- guaranteed sympathy and a connection to the life you're missing will give you the space you need to gain perspective.

Be Pro-active

Second, and I can’t stress this enough, BE PRO-ACTIVE. Sure, life hasn’t been as easy for you as it maybe has for other people but compared to a lot of people you’re still very, very lucky to even have the option of going home. At the end of the day no-one is going to organise your life for you (if you have parents that do please tell them politely to STOP- they’re not doing you any favours) and you’re just going to have to man up and deal with the hand you’ve been dealt; that’s what being an adult is about. So get back on the job search websites (using our handy guide provided here to maximise your efforts) but at the same time be preparing back up options in case it takes longer than you think.

If jobs are elusive, try and get non-paid experience in the fields you are interested in. If money’s an issue you can always combine this with shift work in the evenings or at weekends to pay for travel expenses and fun things. If even this doesn’t seem to be panning out volunteer for a charity in some capacity- employers are going to prefer this to you sitting on your butt and whining because life hasn’t worked out exactly how you planned it. This may sound harsh but I assure you this pep talk is for me as much as for anyone reading!

Change Your Environment

If living back at home feels like you’re regressing then put a new stamp on your living space: ask your parents if you can re-model your room or if you can convert some unused space- an attic, the cellar, a spare bedroom- into your own space. Chances are the last time your bedroom was decorated you didn’t have much say in the matter and taking the design into your own hands should hopefully make you feel that you are moving forwards and not just back where you started.

Stay In Touch

Lastly, remember out of sight doesn’t have to mean out of mind: ok so your best friends are no longer a corridor away, that doesn’t mean you’ll never see them again. Make plans regularly with as many people as possible, take full advantage of the social networking resources and electronic communication methods that are fully at our disposal. We are possibly the first generation that has no excuse for losing touch with old friends- we can interact with people all over the world at the touch of a keyboard; ten miles up the M1 really shouldn’t make that much of a difference.

So don’t be despondent over the future- it will sort itself out- but make every effort to help yourself in the present and the chances are it will all work out better than you hoped. Remember homing pigeons always come home to roost but its never long before they’re off again, and some of them have done pretty amazing things!

How to Cope With Rejection

Picture by Sean MacEntee via Flickr

It’s been a difficult couple of weeks- I’ve been balancing finishing my thesis with applying for jobs and going for interviews- all of which have been unsuccessful.

Rejection is not a nice feeling as I’m sure you all know; it makes you feel worthless, it saps your motivation and it makes the future seem hopeless.

However, life goes on past these rejections and if you’re going to make the most of it and not waste your opportunities, then being able to cope with rejection is a skill you are going to have to develop. If you don’t, it will begin to prey on your mind, affecting your attitude at other interviews which will decrease your chances of doing well and create a downwards spiral of rejections that will eventually lead to you losing all hope and doing something stupid like jumping off a bridge/ doing amateur porn/ working at McDonalds/ marrying for money- depending on your inclinations.

I kid (mostly) but the fact remains that dwelling on rejection, much like dwelling on past mistakes, will only build a self-replicating pattern and get you nowhere.

Success means looking forward not backwards: below are the most important things I have learnt about dealing with rejection.

1. Don’t lie to yourself but don’t take things too personally

By Stefano Principato via Flickr

Obviously it isn’t a good idea to make excuses for next getting a job- it makes you feel like you’re lying to yourself and it stops you learning valuable lessons from the mistakes you’re afraid to admit to.

However, quite often rejection is simply a numbers game- sometimes you don’t make the cut for a completely arbitrary reason, and beating yourself up over it or overanalysing your performance won’t make any difference.

For example, I recently went for a job that required references to be submitted in advance; one of my referees was having a really busy week and failed to meet the deadline. What was more likely- that my qualifications and background weren’t good enough or that I was screened out simply for not meeting their requirements?

Similarly, sometimes the employers will have a certain type of person in mind for the job- rightly or wrongly- and if you aren’t what they want then it doesn’t matter how talented, dedicated or fabulous you are, you probably won’t get the job.

So next time you get a rejection be honest with yourself- did you do things wrong? If so, you can work to correct them. If it seems likely that you were just a victim of circumstance though, then just shrug it off- fate is a fickle mistress and the next job could be the opportunity you’ve been waiting for.

2. Remember success can be measured in many ways

By Hijukal via Flickr

This is a difficult lesson to learn but an important one; our society increasingly values specific academic qualifications and financial security as the most important measures of success. Are they important? Of course! But there are many, many ways to measure success in life that have nothing to do with what university you attended or how much money you’ve made.

Some people consider success to be raising a large, happy family and supporting them to follow their dreams, and some people measure success through the strength and number of their personal relationships:

Remember that quote from the Christmas movie ‘It’s A Wonderful Life’? “Remember, no man is a failure who has friends”. Corny, but true.

Still others consider success to be leaving a legacy of work- art, literature, a disease cure, architecture, research… what’s important is making their mark.

Some people measure their success through the number of lives they touch and change for the better.

The important thing to remember is that they can all be right: success is entirely subjective. If you feel like a failure, make sure you are measuring yourself by your criteria- not your parents’, your friends’ or society’s.

Set your own criteria but be prepared for it to change as you grow: don’t judge thirty year old you harshly by the criteria you set out when you were just graduating, realise that as you adapt to life, so too must your criteria.

By Subharnab via Flickr

3. Statistics are your friend and the world is your oyster

Yes the current job climate sucks and yes we all want a job; one of the advantages of the recession job hunt though is that the stigma attached to not being able to find a job is greatly reduced. People don’t assume that rejections are due to your inadequacies, they simply see you as a victim of the economy or the government: you don’t have a job because there are no jobs to get.

So statistics are your friend- they tell you that you’re not alone: 

2.45 million people are currently unemployed in the UK and 144.000 people were made redundant in the period from March to May alone this year. 

This means that the market has been flooded by experienced individuals looking for work, effectively blocking the attempts of graduates trying to get into more specialised skill based industries such as media and heritage.

Its also important to remember that every time you DON’T get a job a world of infinite opportunities still awaits you- you could do anything. Further, the market being what it is now is as good a time as any to follow your dreams. Competition is tough everywhere so you might as well do battle on a field of your choice.

The important thing is to take advantage of the opportunities that are open to you and to recognise that 2011 is a tough year to be applying for jobs. The odds are against you and the market is against you and more often than not, rejections will reflect the market pressures in play than the person you show yourself to be on your CV.