Success means never having to say you're sorry

Picture by Live Life Happy via Flickr

It’s a common axiom that very successful people are driven and ruthless, trampling over people on

Now, I’m not advocating this approach to the workplace, but not embracing the asshole lifestyle doesn’t mean you can’t learn something from these people; in essence, what allows these people to disregard others and strive to become the best is confidence, focus and a refusal to apologise for their actions.

their way to the top without a thought for the cost of their actions to the people they leave behind. Moreover, we tend to think that it is because of this willingness not to count the human cost of their decisions that they become so very successful.

Don’t apologise is one of the most important pieces of advice I’ve ever received: I don’t mean you shouldn’t say sorry if you’re in the wrong but keep it short and simple – don’t try to explain or excuse your actions – this is where you come across as weak and unconfident. Simply acknowledge your fault, express remorse and leave it at that. If you don’t dwell on your mistakes, others won’t either. Late with a project or forgotten to reply to an e-mail? A short apology followed by the delivery of the desired items is far more effective than long-winded justifications.

To put this advice in context, imagine you’re applying for a job, you fit most of the criteria but you don’t have experience in one particular area – it’s still worth applying but you’re not sure how to deal with that particular part of the specification. In this situation it’s tempting to write a sentence  like this: “although I do not have experience with x, I do have an understanding of y because of my work with z.” This way you feel like you’ve shown awareness of the specification but justified your application in its absence. HOWEVER, what you’ve actually done is made sure that their attention is drawn to what you don’t have that they want, rather than what you do. If you don’t mention the area in which you are lacking, but focus on presenting your other skills strongly, you present a much more confident appearance and chances are they won’t even notice – especially if it’s not a particularly crucial part of the person specification.

You don’t have to be rude to be successful: you just have to be confident, focus on the positives and keep your apologies short and to the point.

Interested in improving your job applications or interview skills? Go to the Job Hunting page to find more articles and advice.

Experience: the Catch 22 of job hunting

When it comes to job hunting there’s one element that frustrates and angers me the most – to the extent that I sometimes feel like jeopardising the occasional interview just to get it off my chest – and that’s the issue of experience.

Photo by amenclincsphotos via Flickr

In the current economic climate experience is prized for two reasons: one, it means that the company doesn't have to train you, nurture you or invest any more money and time in you than is absolutely necessary to make sure you understand the role and two, with the amount of redundancies being instituted across the spectrum of industries, there are an awful lot of experienced candidates out there. Now, in all fairness, you can’t blame companies for this, however it leaves new arrivals to the job market with their very own catch 22: can’t get a job without experience, can’t get experience without a job. 

This is less of a problem if you’re going down the corporate graduate scheme route (although you may still be surprised by the weighting that is given to summer jobs and internships and the expectation that you will have experience of one or the other). If you want to get into any kind of less mainstream career however, the job hunter’s catch 22 can leave you feeling like you’re staring through a glass door that you can’t get through because you don’t have a key – you can see where you want to be, you just don’t have the means to get there.

The unspoken message that companies are sending of course is that you need to get the experience you need in some other way than formalised employment – usually by working for free. It’s unfair, unfeasible for many and ultimately doesn’t do businesses any favours in the long run but these days most graduates without vocational career pathways are resigned to either doing the unpaid legwork, approaching their desired career in an extremely roundabout manner or giving up on it completely.

Unfortunately there isn't a never before heard solution or lifehack for dealing with this problem – if there was, believe me, I would spread the love. However, I do have some ways of dealing with this conundrum that might make the application process a bit easier.

Do the internship but minimise the damage.

Obviously not everybody is able to work for free or has guaranteed parental accommodation but there are strategies for handling the internship to minimise its negative impact on your life. A short-term internship that pays expenses is one option – it doesn’t cost you anything and it can get you on to the next step of your career journey. Alternatively you may be able to work out a part-time internship alongside another, less ideal, job. If you can’t manage a long term internship, at the very least try to get a few days work experience or shadowing in the industry of your choice – anything you can do to inch your CV up the pile makes a difference.

Give them something else they want

Although experience is prized by employers there are other skills and qualifications that you can develop that they may find sufficiently valuable to make up the difference on your CV. Languages are a good example – Spanish, German, Arabic, Chinese and Italian are frequently sought after by employers and there are often adult education classes run by your local authority that are discounted for those not in employment.  Another option is to develop your computer skills – but in a specific area. Everyone is good at MS Office but if you can demonstrate database management skills, knowledge of coding, web design expertise or graphic design abilities you can increase your on paper value to the companies you’re applying to.

Use the power of networking

The adage that it’s not what you know it’s who you know remains true even in 2014 so it’s worth examining your contacts for common ground with your interviewer or the company you’re applying to. If you can manage an informal introduction or meeting with someone before you present yourself formally they will have a face to put with the application – and it’s much harder to reject someone out of hand if they’ve already bought you coffee. Similarly, if you’ve been to the same university as the person in charge of the recruiting or you used to work at the same company or you even support the same football team then you are presenting yourself as someone familiar rather than a complete stranger and they are less likely to focus on your lack of experience if you have a common ground to discuss. Most positions are won or lost face to face, so if you get to that stage, any advantage is crucial. Attending industry events or conferences is another way to build up these connections – even if you don’t manage to meet the people you want to, just being able to talk about the event in cover letters and interviews will put you further up the shortlist.

Obviously, there’s no guarantee that following these paths with guarantee you success but your chances will increase and – most importantly – you will be actively involved in improving your changes rather than feeling increasingly impotent and resentful with every rejection and sometimes attitude is half the battle. Read here for more tips on dealing with rejection proactively.

How to Cope With Rejection

Picture by Sean MacEntee via Flickr

It’s been a difficult couple of weeks- I’ve been balancing finishing my thesis with applying for jobs and going for interviews- all of which have been unsuccessful.

Rejection is not a nice feeling as I’m sure you all know; it makes you feel worthless, it saps your motivation and it makes the future seem hopeless.

However, life goes on past these rejections and if you’re going to make the most of it and not waste your opportunities, then being able to cope with rejection is a skill you are going to have to develop. If you don’t, it will begin to prey on your mind, affecting your attitude at other interviews which will decrease your chances of doing well and create a downwards spiral of rejections that will eventually lead to you losing all hope and doing something stupid like jumping off a bridge/ doing amateur porn/ working at McDonalds/ marrying for money- depending on your inclinations.

I kid (mostly) but the fact remains that dwelling on rejection, much like dwelling on past mistakes, will only build a self-replicating pattern and get you nowhere.

Success means looking forward not backwards: below are the most important things I have learnt about dealing with rejection.

1. Don’t lie to yourself but don’t take things too personally

By Stefano Principato via Flickr

Obviously it isn’t a good idea to make excuses for next getting a job- it makes you feel like you’re lying to yourself and it stops you learning valuable lessons from the mistakes you’re afraid to admit to.

However, quite often rejection is simply a numbers game- sometimes you don’t make the cut for a completely arbitrary reason, and beating yourself up over it or overanalysing your performance won’t make any difference.

For example, I recently went for a job that required references to be submitted in advance; one of my referees was having a really busy week and failed to meet the deadline. What was more likely- that my qualifications and background weren’t good enough or that I was screened out simply for not meeting their requirements?

Similarly, sometimes the employers will have a certain type of person in mind for the job- rightly or wrongly- and if you aren’t what they want then it doesn’t matter how talented, dedicated or fabulous you are, you probably won’t get the job.

So next time you get a rejection be honest with yourself- did you do things wrong? If so, you can work to correct them. If it seems likely that you were just a victim of circumstance though, then just shrug it off- fate is a fickle mistress and the next job could be the opportunity you’ve been waiting for.

2. Remember success can be measured in many ways

By Hijukal via Flickr

This is a difficult lesson to learn but an important one; our society increasingly values specific academic qualifications and financial security as the most important measures of success. Are they important? Of course! But there are many, many ways to measure success in life that have nothing to do with what university you attended or how much money you’ve made.

Some people consider success to be raising a large, happy family and supporting them to follow their dreams, and some people measure success through the strength and number of their personal relationships:

Remember that quote from the Christmas movie ‘It’s A Wonderful Life’? “Remember, no man is a failure who has friends”. Corny, but true.

Still others consider success to be leaving a legacy of work- art, literature, a disease cure, architecture, research… what’s important is making their mark.

Some people measure their success through the number of lives they touch and change for the better.

The important thing to remember is that they can all be right: success is entirely subjective. If you feel like a failure, make sure you are measuring yourself by your criteria- not your parents’, your friends’ or society’s.

Set your own criteria but be prepared for it to change as you grow: don’t judge thirty year old you harshly by the criteria you set out when you were just graduating, realise that as you adapt to life, so too must your criteria.

By Subharnab via Flickr

3. Statistics are your friend and the world is your oyster

Yes the current job climate sucks and yes we all want a job; one of the advantages of the recession job hunt though is that the stigma attached to not being able to find a job is greatly reduced. People don’t assume that rejections are due to your inadequacies, they simply see you as a victim of the economy or the government: you don’t have a job because there are no jobs to get.

So statistics are your friend- they tell you that you’re not alone: 

2.45 million people are currently unemployed in the UK and 144.000 people were made redundant in the period from March to May alone this year. 

This means that the market has been flooded by experienced individuals looking for work, effectively blocking the attempts of graduates trying to get into more specialised skill based industries such as media and heritage.

Its also important to remember that every time you DON’T get a job a world of infinite opportunities still awaits you- you could do anything. Further, the market being what it is now is as good a time as any to follow your dreams. Competition is tough everywhere so you might as well do battle on a field of your choice.

The important thing is to take advantage of the opportunities that are open to you and to recognise that 2011 is a tough year to be applying for jobs. The odds are against you and the market is against you and more often than not, rejections will reflect the market pressures in play than the person you show yourself to be on your CV.

The Halo Effect

By Zoe Favole via Flickr

In my post on interview techniques I referred to the Halo Effect at one point. This is a psychological phenomena I actually read up on for a previous blog but given its relevance to this one as well I thought I would dust it off and trot it out again- Hope you enjoy!

The recession may officially be over, but it’s never been harder to get a job especially as a graduate. So what should you be relying on to get you chosen over the hundreds of other eager applicants? Qualifications, work experience, extra skills… or a nice smile?

Unfair though it may seem to those of us not so fortunate as to be absolutely gorgeous, studies have shown that good looking people tend to be more highly rated in interview than their less attractive peers. This isn’t a case of sexism in the workplace- the phenomenon occurs for both men and women- nor does it appear to be due to the overt shallowness of the interviewer as the prejudice is seemingly subconscious.

According to psychologists this bias is due to the ‘Halo Effect,’ a psychological kink by which we attribute positive characteristics to people we like and negative ones to people we like less. When the person or people are strangers to us, the tendency is to assume good looking people are nice and less attractive people are not. A reliance on appearance for judging character is inherent in our culture- phrases such as ‘love is blind’ and ‘a face only a mother could love’ reveal how we connect positive emotions to an attractive physical appearance.

A study conducted in the 70’s by Landy and Sigall shows the Halo effect in action: when male students were asked to evaluate the quality of an essay, the marks they gave when they thought the writer was an attractive woman were substantially higher than when the perceived writer was unattractive.

Of course to a certain extent notions of attractiveness are subjective to personal preference and social conditioning; however the experimental proof of the halo effect seems to indicate that there is some base level of attractiveness- traits such as good hygiene and fitness or personal grooming for instance, will influence people’s judgement regardless of what attracts them personally.

This effect does not just condition what people think of your personality but also your abilities and skills- people will assume that attractive people (within reason- obviously looking like Paris Hilton might be a hindrance) are more capable as well as generally nicer.

So what does this mean in the real world? Well realistically looks are unlikely to replace the right qualifications-you’ll need those to get into the interview room anyway. However once you’re at that stage- even if it seems chauvinistic or anti-feminist- it’s up to you to use every weapon in your arsenal. Sadly this is most likely especially the case for young women looking to get on the first rung of the corporate ladder, where the majority of interviewers are likely to be male and the climate is, if no longer hostile to women, certainly not over-friendly.

So dress well, use makeup, get your hair done- at the end of the day it could be the difference between going home with a new job or going back to fill in another round of applications.

Ten Tips for Reducing Interview Stress and Increasing Success

An interview can be the best or worst part of the job application process: on the one hand complete strangers are judging you on your appearance, your personality and your every word… On the other hand, it presents an opportunity to justify your CV and argue your case in person with much more control over the outcome.

Whether you like them or loathe them, everybody can use a few secret weapons to get them through the process so here they are: ten tips for doing well at interview, gleaned from the combined experience of people who know what they’re talking about.

Before the Interview:

1. Actually DO your Research

This is extremely important but all too often falls by the way- usually because you receive an interview date just far enough away that researching the company gets pushed to the bottom of your to-do list only to be remembered at the last minute.

Think of an interview as an oral exam- among the things they are testing you on is your knowledge of the company and the industry. A thorough understanding of the organisation could well give you the edge on the competition.

2. DON’T eat curry the night before

 Or Mexican or Chinese…you get the idea. Whether you’ve got a delicate constitution or an iron stomach you don’t want to risk intestinal distress the day of an interview or be worrying about the location of nearby toilets. Stick to solid, unspicy foods and carb load as much as possible as you may be too nervous to eat the next morning.

3. DO drink lots of water

 People tend to avoid doing this out of a fear of needing to visit the toilet an excessive number of times on the day but being well lubricated can really make a difference in an interview. Nerves will make your mouth and throat dry anyway and adding dehydration to that can make talking at length not only difficult but also uncomfortable, detracting from your overall performance.

4. DO make good use of your appearance but DON’T dress like a slut

 There is a psychological study known as ‘The Halo Effect’ which indicates that people subconsciously associate an attractive appearance with other positive traits such as intelligence and competence. This means it is wise to look your best- looking smart is a must anyway, but makeup and perfume or cologne wouldn’t go amiss.

However, don’t overdo it- subconscious effects are easily overridden by conscious thought and interviewers are not stupid. Overt sexuality will get you nowhere.

5. DO take the lift

 Whether you’re fit or unfit, risking turning up panting and sweaty won’t do much for your presentation or your peace of mind. So forget being healthy for one day and stay pristine. Also be aware that there may not be a working lift so leave enough time that you can ascend the stairs in a leisurely manner rather than having to hurtle up them to be on time.

In the Interview:

6. DO be positive about everything

 From the moment you enter the building everything you say should be positive and enthusiastic. Whether you’re talking to the receptionist, other candidates or the interviewer do not whine about trains, stress about personal problems or complain about your work. You never know who’s listening or who might be consulted in the decision making process so keep it positive and you won’t get into trouble.

7. DO enjoy the first few questions

 This might sound crazy, but consider this: the first few questions are almost always the easy ones, easing you into the interview format. They are also when you make your first impression. So be confident and engaging, expand your answers and act like you’re enjoying being there. This will not only help your confidence overall but means you still leave a positive first impression if it all goes wrong later on.

8. DON’T waffle

 Clearly one word answers will get you nowhere but remember most interviewers will be familiar with the technique of trying to hide a lack of actual knowledge with excess verbosity. Be concise and relevant as much as possible and only refer to relevant topics (if you’ve followed number 1 this should be easy anyway). Finally try to avoid excessive hyperbole- the company is unlikely to be perfect and considered criticism will often outweigh uninformed flattery.

9. DON’T lie but DON’T be too honest

 Lying in an interview is stupid. For a start you’ll already be nervous and so you’ll be unlikely to keep track of what you’ve made up but also THEY WILL KNOW. Consider how many people they’ve interviewed over the years- you are not going to win this psychological warfare. That being said, I was recently told a story of a guy applying to work in banking who when asked, disavowed any knowledge of- or interest in- the industry. Clearly true but also clearly a bad idea. Tweaking is all well and good and part of the process, lying isn’t.

10. DO have relevant questions

 At the end of the interview you will almost certainly be asked if you have any questions. Have some. Come up with them beforehand if necessary but make sure they are intelligent and relevant to the job and the rest of the interview. Also make sure to remember the answers- they are keeping notes and repetition of the same queries will not look impressive if you’re asked back.

So there you are: ten ways to polish your interview technique. I’ve not done all these dos and done all the don’ts and I can assure you that doing it this way round is infinitely more comfortable. I can’t promise it will get you a job but I can assure you that it will make the whole experience a little more bearable.

Let us know if you have successfully used any of the above or if you have tips of your own to share in the comments below.

(picture by twicepix via flickr)