Feeling the fear and doing it anyway

Picture by Katiew via Flickr

Everybody has something they hate doing – some part of their job, however important or trivial, that they really, really don’t want to do ever if they can possibly avoid it. For me, it’s making phone calls but other people hate giving presentations, meeting one-on-one with their boss, creating resources, e-mailing people, dealing with IT or any of 101 things that other people think is no big deal but that you lie awake at night fretting about. The hardest thing to do –especially at three a.m. Monday morning - is to admit to yourself that they’re right: it really is no big deal.

There often isn’t really a reason that you’ve grown to regard the task in question with a combination of fear and loathing – sometimes you’ve just had a really bad experience, sometimes you’ve had no experience with it prior to your current position and sometimes you’re just behaving irrationally. The important thing is that you need to get over it because letting it get the better of you and adversely affect your job performance is not something you want to happen.

Of course, I’m not going to bring up a problem like this without providing some solutions, so here are my top three strategies for curing yourself of work phobias.

Throw yourself in at the deep end

Rather like jumping into cold water rather than easing in, or ripping of a band aid, for some people the best solution to not wanting to do something is to just do it: do it now and do it as often as possible. If you’ve been putting off making a lot of calls, schedule a day when that’s all you do; if you hate presentations volunteer to give all the presentations on behalf of your team for the next couple of months, and so on. The idea is that once you do something, you lose the fear of the unknown that was previously holding you back and repeated exposure will reduce the anxiety you feel about the activity. This worked for me when I had to call a list of about 100 people. I had been putting it off for as long as possible but then one day I had to just give in, sit down and start making calls. After three days of continuous phoning I still didn’t like doing it, but I was able to put it on my to-do list without dreading the experience.

Dip your toe in the shallow end

For those of you that are less crazy about throwing it all at the wall, an alternative is to start small: if you hate presentations try doing some for people you work closely with and who make you feel comfortable, then gradually work your way up to the really scary stuff. By making your first experience of whatever it is you don’t want to do as pleasant and non-stressful as possible, you decrease your apprehension of repeating it and thus gain confidence gradually. This might be less feasible if you’ve really left it all to the last minute however – sometimes option one is more of a necessity than a choice.

Going to swimming lessons (I’m stretching the metaphor to the breaking point here)

The third way to get over your aversion to doing something is to put a lot of preparation into it: if it’s a presentation make sure its planned and scripted and practice it as much as possible; if you’ve got a lot of calls to make write a script so you don’t forget what to say and again, practice on friends and co-workers. Preparation can reduce your disinclination to do a task because it increases your feeling of control over the situation. If you’re as prepared as you can possibly be, it takes a lot of the uncertainty out of the equation and can make you feel calmer about the situation. The more confidence you gain, the less preparation you’ll find it necessary to do, but the first few times it can be quite time consuming, so this is possibly not the best method if you’re extremely busy.

So there you have it: three ways to beat your personal work demon. What do you hate to do at work? Let me know below! For more work advice check out my posts on regaining control and procrastination.

Regaining Control

One of the hardest parts of nearing graduation with nothing concrete in place for the year ahead is how out of control you feel.

Not having control of your life is not only scary, its infuriating: at the exact time in my life when I’m supposed to assume full responsibility for myself  as an adult I am completely unable to do so. I know I will have to move back in with my parents and, at least in the short term, continue to depend on their support.

Not knowing what comes next, not being able to truly plan for the future makes me angry- at the world, at system that has been screwed up by people who sailed through this part of life and into well-paid, secure positions and have now left us with a restricted job market and slashed arts funding.

Clearly I can’t do anything about this- the current economic system may not be my fault or my responsibility but its not going to change in the near future and there is little to nothing I can do to change that.

What I can do, and what I encourage any of you who feel the same sense of powerlessness to do, is to focus on those things in life that you can control. People often speak disparagingly about micro-managing, but it’s better than nothing when macro-managing is out of your hands.

Here are three areas of my life which I have focused on to help me feel in control again:

 

1.    Getting Healthy

When life feels like its getting too much, the temptation is to comfort eat and hope it all goes away. However, overeating is just another example of a lack of control and frequently leaves you feeling even worse about yourself.

Instead of comfort eating I have started going for a run twice a week and I am keeping an eye on what I eat. Neither of these constitutes a huge change to my lifestyle but it has made me feel that my body at least is back under my control again and that I have made a positive contribution to my future.

2.    Spring Cleaning

The saying goes ‘tidy house, tidy mind’ but I would argue this could be extended to ‘tidy house, tidy mind, tidy life’. At college your life starts and ends within the four walls of your room- it can serve as your command centre, cocktail bar, study, movie theatre and even, on occasion, your gym. Living in a messy room interferes with your sleep patterns, your ability to focus on work and your mood- take it from someone who lives like this most of the time.

Having a thorough clean out and tidy and attempting to keep your surroundings as clutter free as possible can immediately improve your spirits and give you a sense of control over your surroundings.

3.    Find A Project

This last may be harder for some of you than others. Personally I can’t live without at least one project of some sort on the go. Having a project to focus on gives you back control, even if it’s only of that one specific region of your life.

Projects can be large or small but they have to be both challenging and achievable. At the moment I am engaged on one of each: long term, I am learning Japanese- not something that I can necessarily complete, but it enables me to regularly mark my progress and observe my achievements.

In the short term, I am in charge of organising a garden party fundraiser for the university charity.

Both of these endeavours give me a sense of accomplishment and worth as well as giving me control over something in its entirety.

So there you have it: three easy ways to get back some control over your life and (at least for the moment) stop worrying about the future.