Regaining Control

One of the hardest parts of nearing graduation with nothing concrete in place for the year ahead is how out of control you feel.

Not having control of your life is not only scary, its infuriating: at the exact time in my life when I’m supposed to assume full responsibility for myself  as an adult I am completely unable to do so. I know I will have to move back in with my parents and, at least in the short term, continue to depend on their support.

Not knowing what comes next, not being able to truly plan for the future makes me angry- at the world, at system that has been screwed up by people who sailed through this part of life and into well-paid, secure positions and have now left us with a restricted job market and slashed arts funding.

Clearly I can’t do anything about this- the current economic system may not be my fault or my responsibility but its not going to change in the near future and there is little to nothing I can do to change that.

What I can do, and what I encourage any of you who feel the same sense of powerlessness to do, is to focus on those things in life that you can control. People often speak disparagingly about micro-managing, but it’s better than nothing when macro-managing is out of your hands.

Here are three areas of my life which I have focused on to help me feel in control again:

 

1.    Getting Healthy

When life feels like its getting too much, the temptation is to comfort eat and hope it all goes away. However, overeating is just another example of a lack of control and frequently leaves you feeling even worse about yourself.

Instead of comfort eating I have started going for a run twice a week and I am keeping an eye on what I eat. Neither of these constitutes a huge change to my lifestyle but it has made me feel that my body at least is back under my control again and that I have made a positive contribution to my future.

2.    Spring Cleaning

The saying goes ‘tidy house, tidy mind’ but I would argue this could be extended to ‘tidy house, tidy mind, tidy life’. At college your life starts and ends within the four walls of your room- it can serve as your command centre, cocktail bar, study, movie theatre and even, on occasion, your gym. Living in a messy room interferes with your sleep patterns, your ability to focus on work and your mood- take it from someone who lives like this most of the time.

Having a thorough clean out and tidy and attempting to keep your surroundings as clutter free as possible can immediately improve your spirits and give you a sense of control over your surroundings.

3.    Find A Project

This last may be harder for some of you than others. Personally I can’t live without at least one project of some sort on the go. Having a project to focus on gives you back control, even if it’s only of that one specific region of your life.

Projects can be large or small but they have to be both challenging and achievable. At the moment I am engaged on one of each: long term, I am learning Japanese- not something that I can necessarily complete, but it enables me to regularly mark my progress and observe my achievements.

In the short term, I am in charge of organising a garden party fundraiser for the university charity.

Both of these endeavours give me a sense of accomplishment and worth as well as giving me control over something in its entirety.

So there you have it: three easy ways to get back some control over your life and (at least for the moment) stop worrying about the future.