Love in the Time of Computers and Commuters Part 1

I spent this Valentine’s day with my grandmother. Several of my friends spent it with work colleagues or at home on the sofa. Even some of my coupled up friends didn’t have plans.

Why was this?

Because this year Valentine’s day was a Tuesday in half term and everybody had work or family obligations.

At university dating was very much a matter of choice and convenience- social life was easily available, everybody was your age and it didn’t really matter anyway because you were young.

Subconsciously, we all assumed that we would meet our long time partners there at some point (for some reason I persisted in this belief right up to graduation). 

Once you graduate and this hasn’t happened you realise two things:

  

    Your free time and social life almost completely disappear once you start work

                 

                    Other people are starting to get married

These two things can induce panic and/or despondency but they also bring about a dawning realisation that the way we go about looking for relationships is going to have to change. Setting aside chance meetings, fated lovers and kismet, most workers and postgrads meet their partner through work, mutual friends or online dating. Over the next couple of posts I will be examining the efficacy of these three methods using first-hand experience, dubious statistics and the hastily collected testimonies of my friends and co-workers.

Online Dating

Over the last few years the acceptance and utilisation of online dating as a legitimate form of courtship has grown exponentially, blossoming from the last resort of the truly desperate to the smart choice for the modern working girl or boy.

 As interest has grown, so too has the number of websites catering to the singles market and you can now find sites catering to the love-minded for almost any hobby, physical trait or idiosyncrasy you can think of, alongside more corporate mainstream forums such as match.com (For an amusing look at your options check out podcast- The Complete Guide toEverything and their episode dating part one).

Just how valid is the choice to go online with your love life though? Do the results support its apparent popularity? Well according to my survey of Wikipedia, 17% of married couples in 2010 had met online, and as soon as I mentioned the topic of online dating at work I was inundated with tales of success from friends and family, far outweighing any disaster stories that might have occurred. In fact, aside from the lingering prejudice that online dating is a bit ‘desperate’, few people had a bad word to say about it.

As I shamefacedly admit to an irrational dislike of online dating as an option for my own love life (despite enthusiastically championing it for other peoples’) I have ‘interviewed’ a friend who has regularly used online dating for a couple of years, albeit to date unsuccessfully, about her experiences with love online (Names withheld to protect the embarrassed).

Q When and why did you decide to start online dating?

A I started when I was still at uni because it wasn’t proving very successful. It just wasn’t very easy to meet people because when I went out I was drunk and the men I met only wanted one thing.

Q Do you think online dating is a better method of getting to know someone then?

A Not properly knowing someone. It gives you a start and it’s a way of meeting people you wouldn’t normally meet. (It’s more) checking the basics, checking you’re compatible.

Q How successful do you think online dating has been?

A For me personally not very, although it’s nice to speak to people. But my friend found her long- time partner that way and I’m quite picky.

Q Do you think online dating is a good option when working full time?

A Yes because there’s less time to get out and it’s nice to meet people outside of work.

Q Have you tried other methods of meeting people?

A Yes, work- its awkward when you split up though. Friends have been good (for meeting people) but again I’m picky

Q What’s your worst story from online dating?

A I’ve got two: one is meeting up with guys and them not looking like they should (from the picture) and I’m picky about looks, the other is the guy who was much keener than me and didn’t leave my house for five hours.

Q What advice would you give to people starting online dating?

A Be open to different kinds of people, be completely honest on your profile, message as many people as possible and when you write a message be interesting- don’t just write ‘Hi, how are you’.

So that’s the lowdown on online dating- a reasonable chance of success and a way to fit your search for romance around your schedule. It might not be the most romantic story to tell the grandchildren but it’s better than never having grandchildren at all… Tune in next time for all the information you need about meeting people through work and making the most of your friends and relatives.

Top Tools For Procrastination

Via Flickr by gingerpig2000

This week's post is late, for which I proffer you all a thousand apologies. Thesis panic has hit full force and with it my workload seems to have doubled. Combine this with the pressure of job applications and interviews and you have my current disorganised, frantic state.
However out of this morass of confusion and sleep deprivation was born this week's topic- the best ways to procrastinate from work.
Escapism is seductive and whilst procrastination is clearly bad in great quantities, everybody needs a break now and then.
The ideal procrastination tool has to be short or in small units so you are not distracted for too long and ideally it should make you feel like you are still accomplishing something to ward off the guilt of not working.

There are a variety of media represented here so there should be something for everybody currently engaged in a thankless task they'd rather not be doing.

1.) Webcomics
I am a huge aficionado of webcomics and have been for some time. There are years of archives to get caught up on but once you're on track they provide a short daily respite as you follow the progressing story.
Here are three of my favourites that I strongly reccommend to you all:

http://www.sheldoncomics.com/ Sheldon is a ten year old genius who lives with hist grandfather, his pug Oso, Arthur the talking duck he created, and Arthur's adopted son Flaco the lizard. Whats not to like? Its funny, its heartwarming (if a little Nerdcore upon occasion) and its the perfect antidote to life's worries.

http://www.girlswithslingshots.com/ This is definitely a comic for the job-seekers and twenty-somethings. Hazel, Jamie and friends present the life worries and problems we all share against a charmingly drawn backdrop of Canada and coffee shops. Oh and there's a talking Scottish cactus called McPedro.

www.pvponline.com A classic, almost one might say a quintessential, webcomic; PVP (Player vs Player) is one of the oldest and most successful webcomics around. Initially a gaming comic PVP blossomed into a clever, tongue in cheek commentary on human relationships and workplace interactions.

2.) The Complete Guide to Everything (Podcast) www.tcgte.com
The Complete Guide To Everything is a weekly podcast produced by New Yorkers Tom Reynolds and Tim Daniels with the initial, ambitious aim to produce an audio rival to wikipedia by picking a topic each week and providing a 'complete guide' to it.
Since its first few episodes TCGTE has grown in scope, audience and audio fidelity to become a regular in the itunes top downloaded podcasts both in the US and in the UK, prompting the first of what we hope will be many live shows held in London and New York this year.
Not only are they hilarious- do not make the mistake of listening to them in the library- they are also surprisingly informative upon occasion: their beatles episode provided me with all my knowledge on the subject and their episode about North Korea was similarly interesting.
They are even more entertaining however when they don't know what they're talking about- below is one of my favourite quotes from the Superbowl episode:

Tim: Since this is our official superbowl episode...I will give you $100 Tom, right now, if you can name for me the two teams playing in the superbowl next week

3.) Sporle www.sporcle.com
You may or may not be aware of this valuable time wasting resource. If you are, you'll understand what I mean, if you're not then allow me to explain.
Sporcle is a website that collates and produces timed quizzes on any topic under the sun- name the original 150 pokemon, name all the countries in the world, name all the elements in the periodic table...
Its fun- whether playing on your own or in a group with a designated 'typist'- and it is extremely challenging on occasion (how many African countries can YOU name?). Most importantly it makes you feel like you're doing something useful- your brain is still engaged. Definitely a site to bookmark.

4.) Twitter www.twitter.com
I am a (relatively) new convert to twitter and I have to say it is ideal for time wasting. Endless updates for you to read and respond to, posting your own messages, following trending topics...
Again this is something that can convince you (assuming you follow the right people) that you're doing something useful- I get most of my news about the outside world from twitter these days.
If you're already on twitter these are three new people for you to follow and if you're a newbie they're a great place to start.

@NickMB- Although occasionally guilty of quantity over quality, Nick's tweets are endlessly diverting and extremely numerous covering a good range of issues humerous, cultural and topical. One to follow if only to find out what the hashtag #tfts stands for...


@universityboy- writer of the University blog http://theuniversityblog.co.uk/ his tweets are extremely relevant and often link to interesting articles about the future of higher education in Britain. Interesting and topical, if occasionally disquieting, he is an excellent person to follow for news and politics updates relevant to our generation.

@LucyMangan the guardian columnist par excellance she should be followed simply because she's amazing and always links to excellent things (including her own work). Also check her archives out at the guardian website for a procrastination bonus!

There you have it folks- my favourite ways to break from work (when I'm not watching South Park that is). Feel free to share your own favourites in the comments below.

Now if you'll excuse me I have some work to do...