Hannah is a friend from university, one of the first to take the scary steps into the adult world. I asked her to write us a post about her experiences over the last year to show people how uncertainty and changing your mind can be extremely positive forces sometimes. She is an extremely talented writer so I hope you all enjoy this post!
So I’ve got a degree, quite a good one actually- I am a Cambridge Graduate. But I didn’t spend my summers selling my soul to Deloitte, or working for free at a top law firm, or anything particularly useful. I think of myself as a creative, socially aware sort of person and I certainly don’t want my person to be defined by my degree and the university I attended. So what do I do with that degree?
When I was in my final year of university I decided that I would put off all the life-changing career decisions and do a Masters in Material and Visual Culture at UCL. I got the place, and had the enthusiasm to give it a good shot. I found two good friends to live with and a cheap flat on a council estate in Clapham. I thought I was sorted.
Then I had the induction day for the course and had a realisation, as it turned out, the first of many. I didn’t want to do all that work, all that reading and pointless study and discussion. Not after three years already. So I gave that up after quite a few tears and a long discussion with my mum.
Next step... being bored and poor in London, which isn’t fun at all. I felt isolated, lost, a fish out of water. In London you have to fight to feel welcome, fight to turn the daily grind, the grime and the distance into a meaningful experience. And I didn’t have the inclination or the money to take arms.
I looked at the career options for those with a degree in Social Anthropology. PR and Marketing were quite near the top of that list so I thought I’d give that a go, I talked myself into it and really thought I’d be alright at it. I’d wear a pink pencil skirt and Topshop heels to work, buy a Starbuck skinny latte at lunch and join a yoga class. So I went to a recruitment firm that could find me an internship and ended up joining a small private tuition company as an intern. Supposedly I was their ‘marketing’ executive and they would be giving me a job in 3 months if I was any good. It turned out I was free labour; the latest of many interns. The company consisted of two people who shared a unit on with a chap starting his own company producing and selling organic ketchup. And they were running out of money.
Then it was October. My Nan had a severe stroke. I didn’t want to be in London, I wanted to be at home with her. So I left within hours of it happening. This wasn’t a decision I had to think through; my Nan had lived with me and my parents at home for 7 years and she was more important to me that anything else in that moment. I visited her in hospital every day.
But this horrible shock made me question my career path. I talked to the nurses and got to know the people on the ward, and knew that I didn’t want to be stuck in an office or working with stuffed shirts. I needed to do something useful, to be part of a community that shared my principles. So while I was at home I volunteered at a primary school. Just to see if I liked it, which I did. I went back up to London with my parents and moved out officially. I’m not usually the sort of person who makes off the cuff decisions, but at the time I just needed to get out.
On Boxing Day my Nan died in hospital. The teacher I was working with at school bought me some daffodils growing in a pot to cheer me up. Everyone was so supportive, and I felt I had found my place at last. I decided to stay. And then the school agreed to have me there to do the Graduate Training Programme to become a teacher. I’d just like to add that this is not the easy option. The school is in a tough area, the children are far from perfect, and some come to school at four years old not really knowing what a book is, or how to use a knife and fork. There’s no getting away with being a mediocre teacher, if you want to engage this children you have to be exciting, open minded and understanding. It’s a challenge!
I’m also lucky to have friends who did not go to university. They do not have degrees and yet they have a life that is based not on income or status but rather friends, family and enjoyment. When I came back from London my friends got me through a phase of confusion. I also have friends who were in the same boat as me which helped a lot. If you are stuck knowing what to do with your degree, I recommend talking to someone who doesn’t have one. These people taught me how to be grounded.
So what have I learnt? Life teaches you stuff. It’s not a matter of ‘finding your way’ or ‘choosing the right path’ or all those rubbish clichés. You’ll decide one thing, and life will change your mind. Something that’s outside your control can happen at any moment. My advice would be, if you don’t like what you’re doing, don’t feel stuck. Just give it up and trust that eventually you’ll do something you really do like. I don’t expect I’ll be a teacher for ever, but for now it suits me just fine, and hopefully I’ll be a good one.
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