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| Photo by Hysterical Bertha via Flickr |
At the moment my life comprises of work and sleep and as I
live with my parents, fitting a boyfriend into the latter isn’t really an
option. My situation isn’t an uncommon one in today’s house and job market
which is why so many people opt for the former option: finding a person at
work. 40-60% of marriages started from a
meeting at work and speaking from experience not only my parents but also a
ridiculously large section of the staff at my school have successfully
exploited this proximity-driven opportunity to find long term relationships.
In terms of meeting people, work is probably the environment
that most closely approximates that of university: there are a lot of people
around, quite often of a similar age to you and who you have something in
common with. For people with jobs in professions that require a lot of shift
work, dating colleagues is often the only way to maintain a relationship as
irregular hours can otherwise place stress on a couple.
However, clearly there are some major drawbacks to dating
co-workers: breakups can be messy and unless you’re prepared to find another
job when it ends, you’re going to have to see them every day and possibly face
the fact that they’re with you 24/7 meaning that it can be difficult to keep a
healthy work-life balance.
Clearly a work relationship is not always ideal or even
possible: some work environments are predominantly one or the other sex and
unless you work in a large company or department there might not be anyone your
own age. However, it can work as statistics and experience have shown.
Below is another hastily put together interview with a
co-worker who has been in a committed work relationship for nearly a decade.
Q Have you dated more than one person from
work?
A Yes, but there was a long period in between
and it wasn’t really dating as such. Both times it was somebody I was in the
same department as.
Q Did you have reservations about dating
someone from work?
A Yes
Q What made you decide to do it anyway?
A Love (laughs) it has to be doesn’t it?
Q What do you think is the advantage of a
relationship at work?
A You have a better understanding of each
other and the pressures of work and you’ve got something in common
Q Did you try other ways of meeting people?
A Yes, for example the internet wasn’t really
about, but I did use papers ads and just sort of relied on chance. I went to an
18-30 social group and had quite a few boyfriends from there.
Q What advice would you give people
contemplating a work relationship?
A Think carefully about it before you jump in
because you get very emotionally attached- my first relationship at work, when
it ended and he went out with somebody else from work I went and handed in my
resignation.
Meeting Through Friends
This in my opinion is the best way to make people; one of
the great things about leaving university and everybody getting jobs is that
although your friendships remain as strong as ever, people also make a new lot
of friends and acquaintances that you can meet through them.
The advantages of this are numerous: people who are friends
of your friends of your friends are likely to have things in common with you,
they are ‘vetted’ by your friend (you would assume they don’t befriend creepy
weirdos) and should things go horribly wrong you don’t have to suffer through
regular awkward social encounters.
However there are drawbacks: meeting someone ‘through’ your
friend means that that friend will become an important part of the equation and
if your friends are anything like mine they will not just sit passively by.
Also any breakup scenario will inevitably cause problems for your friend as the
middle man: you might not have to see them every day but for your friend it
might be a different story.
Meeting people through your friends becomes increasingly
feasible as you grow up: housewarming party, milestone birthdays, marriages,
christenings, reunions, work parties, the opportunities are numerous. One of my
work colleagues met her partner at a friend’s birthday pub crawl and my aunt
met my uncle because she worked with my mum, who was married to my dad, who was
my uncle’s brother (did you follow that?).
At the end of the day though, there are no guarantees in
Romance, as in life: you could try all these things and end up along or you
could trip and fall into the arms of your soulmate walking down the street tomorrow
(we’re hoping for the latter). In the meantime, its sensible to make the most
of every opportunity to meet people. If there’s someone out there for everyone
you don’t want to miss yours by staying at home with the cat.
Let us know about your dating experiences and advice in the
comments below J
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