The Guide to Going to Uni Part 2: Friends like These...

 Some of you may have noticed that the update schedule has become a little more erratic recently; this is due to my finding it a lot harder to adapt to a working day than I thought I would. The result of this is that I will now be updating the blog on friday nights or- more likely- saturday afternoon and we may lose the second update a week- it will certainly become more infrequent. I apologise for this but at the moment I just don't have the time or energy that I need to maintain our original schedule. In the meantime keep enjoying our guide to university!

Picture by glennharper via Flickr

The most important thing you take away from university- and the thing you worry most about before you get there- is friends. A good group of friends can make your university experience into the best years of your life and can lead to lifelong bonds, so it is not surprising that one of our biggest worries when starting university is "will I make any friends?".

The answer is almost certainly yes- I don't know of anyone at my university, however bizarre or eccentric they seemed, who wasn't able to find at least one kindred soul to share their time with. That doesn't mean that you wont have to make an effort and it does take some people longer to form bonds or to adapt to socialising in the university environment. It can also take some time for your friendships to solidify- often the problem in freshers week is that you have too many 'friends' and you don't yet know who will be the best fit for you long term. Sooner or later the mass of people will settle into groups to which you will be attached to varying degrees of acquaintance-or friend-ship.
If you are harbouring concerns about making friends however, there are steps you can take to be more active in your socialising which will improve your chances of finding people you click with.

 Accommodation
First year accommodation is randomly assigned at university which can sometimes lead to a 'you can pick your friends but you can't pick your family' type situation. More ususally however you will find your closest friendships develop within the confines of your hall of residence. Nothing brings people closer together like collectively managing to burn pasta, leaving razors in the shower and wandering around in your pyjamas at three in the afternoon, after all.

This means it is worth making an effort to meet your neighbours during the first few days: if at all possible, keep your door propped open (fire safety bedamned) so that you can see people as they pass by- and of course they can see you too. It's also important to remember that the normal rules of British reserve do not apply during the first week of university. So its perfectly ok to knock on people's doors to introduce yourself and ask people to do things with you like walk to lectures or go on a sainsburys run. Make the most of this etiquette amnesty to meet as many people as possible; the more things you have going on and the more people you have around you, the less chance you have to feel lonely or homesick. Also, hang out in communal areas as much as possible- put the TV on in the common room or put your shopping away loudly and slowly in the kitchen. Try and spend as little time as possible in your room on your own in the first week: sleep and solitude are for essay deadlines.

Clubs and Sports
The alternative to finding your friends through proximity (accommodation or lectures) is to search for likeminded souls by joining clubs, societies or sports teams that take your interest. These range from the mainstream (languages, drama and major sports), to the fringe (Sci Fi appreciation, Anime and Ultimate frisbee) to the jokey and bizarre (the naked club, winnie the pooh appreciation, punt jousting). Whatever your fancy you can bet there will be a cavalvade of characters good and bad awaiting you at mixers and practices. It is fun to do this on top of meeting people 'at home' because it a. broadens your pool of potential friendships and b. means you actually leave your halls of residence for reasons other than food and alcohol. It also gives you a chance to meet people from other years, subjects and halls of residence.
There are two important things to remember about meeting friends through clubs and sports: firstly if you do decide to make a commitment stick to it for at least a term unless you are completely miserable. Attend all practices or meetings and socials possible in the first few weeks as this will be the only initial opportunity you have to get to know these people. Its much harder to maintain a friendship based on a mutual interest when one of you is no longer pursuing it.
Secondly, make sure you start seeing people outside of practices; friendship can't really properly blossom once or twice a week. Ask people over for a drink or go out for coffee etc and get to know them outside of the interest you share.

Above all HAVE FUN! Making friends at university is not supposed to be stressful and it won't be if you give people a chance. Good luck to all of you this week and have a great time!